I don't think it was really love at first sight with Oliver. I feel like a horrible mom to even put that into words. Especially after everyone kept saying, oh, you think before you have the second
baby that you can never love another as much as your first, but then you have the second and you discover, wow, this whole new love for this whole new person. So I expected to feel that instantaneously. But then I didn't feel the same awe when Oliver was placed on my chest right after birth. And those first few days were also different... instead of wanting to spend every second of every day gazing at him and stroking his hair, I also wanted to read a thriller I had just gotten from the library. Maybe it was just exhaustion from parenting Ezra, but I wanted any little moment I could get to myself to just have to myself.And then - do you remember the flap over Angelina Jolie calling her baby Shiloh a "blob"? (Maybe you don't - I guess not everyone reads supermarket tabloids as avidly as I do.) Well, now I can relate. Especially when you have older kids, the comparison to them makes the baby kind of seem like a blob. When I talked about it with Gabe, he agreed and said Ezra is just this kind of hot white bright shining star - this enormous swirl of energy that makes us laugh (and tear out our hair) and communicates with us all day, and a newborn just sleeps, cries, poops and eats.
But... the falling in love process is just different. It sneaks up on me - when I take Oliver outside and he opens his round blue eyes so wide and stares mesmerized at the leaves, I can't help but adore him. Or just looking at his roly poly little naked body - so perfectly proportioned (not like the skinny baby that Ezra was), I can't get enough of him. And lately he's started to give us those unexpected baby smiles and I feel like I'm starting to see the person that he'll become. I do feel a bit of impatience - wanting to know who he'll be, what he'll be like - will he like trains and trucks like Ezra, or be obsessed with something completely different? Will he be shy or friendly? Oliver has a little onesie that says, "Just Stay Small." I know a lot of people feel that 
way, but I can't wait to watch him grow up. I'm sure when I read that in 20 years I'll be telling myself how stupid I was to not savor these days of him being an itsy bitsy baby. So I'm trying to not will the future to come too soon! But it's my impulse.(10/4/10 Update: This morning, after writing what I did last night, I looked down into Oliver's round eyes and felt two things - deep love and guilt. Sweet little baby, the only reason I could write what I did is because I know now that I love you beyond words and would do anything for you. And this morning, as if to reassure me, he gave me some of the most incredible smiles he's given us yet.)
Fall is here in full force. We went to a really fun apple fest in our neighborhood with Gabe's grad school friend Alisa and managed to offset any healthy benefit of apple-eating by adding caramel, sprinkles and peanuts.
Aunt Sheila and Uncle Perry Schneider (Gabe's aunt and uncle from Arizona) dropped in last weekend and that was wonderful. They read Ezra books and heard all about his plans to become a truck driver AND travel to Neptune. We just wish they lived closer by so we could see them more often. Unfortunately, we didn't take pictures. Schneiders, did you?
And this past weekend our friends Pat, Sarah, Arthur and David Briscoe came to visit.
It was so much fun, as always, to see how sweet Arthur (7) and David (5) are to Ezra (they were mildly interested in Oliver, but Ezra is the real attraction at this point). Arthur in particular exhibited remarkable patience as Ezra pointed to every picture on Arthur's pajamas and asked, "What's that?" "Star Wars." "What's that?" "Star Wars." "What's that?" "Star Wars." To top it all off, Ezra had his very first donut. Of course he selected the pink-frosted sprinkle-covered one and spent half an hour licking the frosting off and hunting down every last sprinkle.
Well, I think that's it for now. Next weekend Katy and Noni Gross are coming to visit, then Pop Pop and Grandma Spitzer will come and get their first glimpse of their newest grandson. We're looking forward to seeing so much family.
Love,
Ash, Gabe, Ezra and Oliver
P.S. If you're wondering why Gabe has become such a slacker about posting on this blog, it's because he's also blogging for work these days. His new science show, Clever Apes, is taking up a lot of his time - Check it out!
