Change of Guard, and Other Stuff

Well, Dad has taken over the home front as I head back to work three days a week. I can't really speak for Gabe on the difficulty so far - all I know is that giving Oliver a bottle ranges from a somewhat frustrating, long drawn-out endeavor to an epic battle of wills that involves a lot of crying, and, I imagine, some four-letter words. But so far the boy has gotten fed both days, and there was even dinner waiting for me when I got home! I could get used to this.

I think I'm ready to throw in the towel on the cloth diapers. And the tipping point (for me, at least) isn't even necessarily the frequent and intimate contact with baby poo. No, I feel guilty doing laundry every other day - it doesn't seem like such a "green" thing to do. Plus, I haven't done the math, but I don't think we're saving any money. And last but not least, definitely not least, I can't stand shopping at the chi-chi yuppie "green" purveyors of baby accessories.

You walk in and are greeted by an aneroxic shopgirl with platinum blond hair who looks like she's never left Venice Beach, much less had a baby. You tell her you're interested in cloth diapers.

"Oh, all-in-ones, or pocket diapers? GDiapers or BumGenius?" she asks.

"Um, God, I'm not really sure," you stammer.

"Well, a lot of moms swear by the hemp inserts with micro-fleece covers. They really wick moisture," she tells you.

"I think I'll just get these plastic covers, thanks," you say, ready to get the hell out of dodge. This is why online shopping was invented, you think.

But somehow before you leave, you've also forked over $30 for a box of "natural, residue-free" detergent specially designed for anything that comes in contact with your precious baby's little bum. Hmmm, on second thought, let's head to Walgreens and get some Pampers. Too bad you can't get your money back for the detergent - store credit only. It won't even cover the cost of one Italian-designed Zutano onesie that your baby will fit for about three weeks.

But enough of that. On to some sappiness.

I love my boys so much it hurts. This morning, one of the first things out of Ezra's mouth when I went to get him from his crib was, "I love you, Mommy." Then, as I got ready for work, he kept saying it over and over all morning, running up and burying his head in my legs. Then he bent down and started kissing my toes.

The reason why it hurts is that whenever I feel intense happiness, I get scared. I remember all the dangers out there in the world and the fact that we're all mortal and there's always the chance, hopefully just a very tiny chance, that I could lose him or Oliver.

I've heard parenthood described as watching your heart walk around outside your body. I think that's a pretty accurate description.

Love,
Ash (and Gabe, Ezra and Oliver)

Adventures in Constumery

The holiest day on the toddler calendar has now passed. Our Halloween teetered on the edge of disaster at a few points, but actually turned out quite splendidly.

Credit for this goes almost entirely to Ashley (it's Gabe writing). If it were up to me, we'd probably have skipped the pumpkin, bought a plastic mask at the dollar store, and then just come home and binged on kit-kats from the 7-11. But Ash, being organized and thoughtful, got Halloween going for the family. She carved the pumpkin, organized the trick-or-treating and executed the costume brilliantly.

More on the costume: after some soul-searching, we decided that what Ezra would most like to be in the whole wide world was ... a piece of heavy equipment. So we basically cribbed a design we found online for a crane: painted yellow-box body, cardboard boom, hanging hook, black tape accents and a hardhat to top it off. I fashioned the hook and engineered the counterweight system that prevented the toddler from pitching forward (accomplished by taping butterknives to the back for ballast), but Ash did the rest. It looked great. But I confess that I was skeptical it would last more than five minutes. Sure, it was well-made, but Ezra could demolish a Sherman tank if you gave him a few days.

At the beginning of our trick-or-treating excursion, Ezra momentarily forgot about the candy and took to tearing around the playground with his full gear on. I was certain that the costume wouldn't see even one front porch. But eventually we got him back onto his mission ("Darn it, Ezra, do you know what's at stake here? Candy for the entire family! This is bigger than you, son. This is bigger than all of us!")

Oliver came too, though he spent Halloween mostly curled up in the sling on mama's front. Ezra, though, got the hang of trick-or-treating quickly. When he'd start to flag, we'd pop a "Smartie" in his mouth, which would fuel him for the next several houses. He couldn't really walk up porch

steps (he couldn't see his feet!), so I carried him up those by his arms. The costume was an unmitigated hit with the public. We got so, so many compliments on it. I was escorting Ezra most of the time, so I unjustly soaked up all this praise. Even other little kids were looking on and saying, "Awww, that's so cute!" One guy took our picture and said, "Union, right?" Ezra loved it, didn't want to take it off, and somehow managed not to destroy it all evening.

In other news, Oliver is making robust (if nuanced) progress. He holds his head up very steadily, is continuing to smile more and doing it in response to things instead of randomly. He's begun reaching for toys and batting at them, and he's starting to rock on his hips when lying down -- a precursor to rolling over. He's still sweet as pie -- he has fussy patches, but he can generally be comforted (unlike a certain other Spitzer child at his age). The boys are getting along great. Ezra still likes to kiss him and wants to roughhouse with him, which requires some reining in. But so far our fears about intense sibling rivalry have yet to materialize.

In two weeks we'll change the guard -- Ash will head back to work, and I'll begin my 7 weeks of leave. I hope I will be a wiser dad this time than I was during my leave with Ezra, which I remember fondly but which contained a lot of frustration and tedium. On the other hand, we've been enjoying listening to some audio and watching videos from Ezra's first year, and reliving some of the joy and the fun we had. We're terribly excited to get to go through that again with Oliver, even as Ezra continues to surprise, delight, and occasionally unhinge us with each successive stage.

Much love,

Gabe, Ash, Ez and Ollie