"I forgive you, Mommy."
Ezra said this to me as he quietly played with some tinker toys on the floor in the dining room. He said this to me by mistake - what he meant was that he wanted ME to forgive HIM. But he mixes it up. So when we're angry about him doing something naughty, as an act of contrition, he says that he forgives us. But today, the more I think about it, the more apt it is that he forgave me.
I worked for 45 minutes cooking bean quesadillas and rice, juggling a clingy baby and trying to keep Ezra occupied with messy glitter glue art
projects. Then when I put the food down on the table, Ezra took one bite of rice and ran off to the living room. He wouldn't come back. I am not proud of this, but I kind of went ballistic. Grabbed him, raised my voice, sat his fanny back on the seat. Then purposefully gave him the silent treatment after he ran off again, grabbed his toys and then tried getting my attention with his little building project. Again, I'm not proud of this.
Then he told me that he was sorry. And that he forgave me. And my heart kind of melted a bit. But I was still angry. I just feel so lost - we want to raise him to be polite and to listen to us and follow the few rules that we have set (like everyone sitting down to meals together). But what do we do when he doesn't obey? We don't want to spank him. We don't really want to yell, but it's sometimes hard not to. I just know that yelling doesn't really result in anything. We try
threats - no dessert, etc. But he always seems to wind up getting the better of us. And I'm terrified of being run over by a three-year-old who grows into a 5- or 7-year-old who is a complete brat. Book recommendations, anyone?
In the end, I guess today was somewhat successful in that I didn't give in to his demands for goldfish crackers an hour after lunch. I told him he could eat his lunch and that was the only option. He cried, wailed and then broke down and ate his rice. (Woke Oliver up prematurely from his nap with all his yelling - it was THAT kind of day.)
But back to the forgiveness. I felt lousy that I had lost my cool. It was terrible to see him get scared because I was so angry. So I'm grateful that he forgave me. And I guess I have forgiven him - but I really hope he cuts out this craziness soon!
Okay, enough of that. On to milestones:
Ezra got to celebrate not one, but two birthdays - his actual one (with cupcakes and balloons and presents) and his birthday party with friends this past weekend. He kind of ran around like a maniac, begging for his cake, tearing open each present as soon as people walked in the door (at a certain point we gave up trying to figure out who had given him what!). But he had fun and so did his friends, I think. We meant to have it at a park like last year, but the heavens opened up an hour before the party and we held it indoors.
Now that he's a big three-year-old, potty training is well underway. We were staring at a hard deadline - Sept. 12th is the first day of preschool, and he has to be out of diapers. So we unleashed Operation Jelly Bean, which worked great for a while. Then he got sick and didn't feel like having candy, so we've let that fall by the wayside. Mostly he's pretty good about remembering to pee, but he hates to do it when he doesn't think he needs to - like before going out of the house. And he despises washing his hands. Argh. We need some fun, silly soaps to get him inspired again. Truthfully, the accidents have been few, so it's mostly a big relief. There was one funny moment recently - He was doing some art project at the dining room table and Oliver was standing by his chair and I saw something dripping down onto the floor. I said, "Where's that water coming from?" and without even turning to look up from his project, Ezra said, "It's not water. It's pee." Um, okay. Thanks for letting me know.
I hate to say that Ezra is exasperating me and Oliver is an angel, but it kind of feels that way these days.
Ollie is off-the-charts cute right now.* At about 10 months, he said his first word: cat. Then he added car, hot, hi and da. (no 'ma' yet.) And now his favorite thing to say is "quack, quack." He's climbing all over the place - the other day I left him for a moment in the living room while I went to the kitchen, came back and saw him trying to get up into the windowsill from the little kid table. Gulp.
While we were visiting my parents on Martha's Vineyard, he learned to go backwards down a stair.
He kept practicing on one little stair that separated the kitchen from a den. He'd go down, climb back up, carefully turn his body and go down again, all while we coached him, "Go backwards! Go backwards!" He must have done it 15 times in one day. Then later that day, I was holding him talking to my mom and telling her about how he had learned to go backwards and he started squirming in my arms to go down. Then he crawled, bulldog-style, to the stair, turned around and went down it backwards. He heard me and wanted to show off!
He finally got his first tooth at 11 months and likes running his tongue over it when we talk about his tooth. A second one is in the process of coming in. Yay! It will be nice to give him food that requires chewing. And he's about to really walk any day now. The past few days he's been taking about 3 steps unassisted before losing his balance. But he is motivated and it won't be long till he's ambulating.
We have transitioned to a new babysitter - Becca. Ezra seems to really like her and Oliver is still getting adjusted. The nice thing is that she comes to our place, so we have a lot less driving. But we do miss Najiba - in spite of all her quirks. So we had her babysit for us on Saturday night and it really touched me to see her cuddle Oliver and how he went to her so easily and burrowed his head in her chest. We feel lucky to have had someone taking care of them who loved them so much. She can't drive, and we need someone to drive Ezra to preschool, otherwise we probably would have kept her on.
Anyway... whew, that's a lot. Congratulations to anyone who read to the end of this.
Lots of love,
Ashley, Gabe, Ezra & Oliver
*Completely unbiased and scientifically verifiable conclusion.
