Gratitude

My dad asked me the other day, "Are you going to do any more writing on your blog?"

And it reminded me that I've been thinking now and then of reviving it. I've been relying too much on Facebook, but that's a really different animal. Facebook doesn't lend itself to writing stories. And I'm really hyper-aware on Facebook that I don't want to overload my feed with "happy family" stuff. I don't really like reading those kinds of posts, and I have a feeling I'm not alone.

But at the same time, I've been feeling a real need to write down the moments of joy and gratitude, because otherwise it can all get washed away by that beaten-down feeling. That feeling you get when the kids won't stop shrieking, or hitting, or scratching, or whining, or biting, or rejecting food, or, or, or...

Also, after recently interviewing a single mom of triplet 17-year-olds, two of whom have serious autism, I realized it's just dumb to feel sorry for myself.


So here are five recent moments of joy that I don't want to forget:

1) Oliver at bedtime piling all of his blankets and stuffed animals and pillows in a massive pile on the floor, then getting in the middle and telling me, "Okay, we're going to play a tiny game. I'll be the lava, and you're the deer trying to get away from the volcano erupting."

2) Ezra at bedtime putting his head on my belly, and then climbing into my lap as I sang songs to him. In comparison to other six-year-olds, he's small, but in comparison to the tiny 5 lb 4 oz baby he used to be, he's enormous. So it's such a pleasure to have him curl up in my lap, made bittersweet by the fact that he won't always want to do that.

3) Being told by Ezra's first-grade teacher at his parent-teacher conference that he loves to read and is often secretly reading a book at his desk during class.

4) Walking down the hill with Oliver to the bus while he runs ahead full-speed and then watching with pride as he stops at each driveway to look both ways. It's a real exercise in trust. It can be hard to keep myself from yelling out, "stop at the driveway!" but I always feel good when I hold back and then he does what he's supposed to.

5) Oliver telling me he loves me higher than he can count. He told me he loves me "138." I'll take it.

New digs

Sorry for the lack of posts for the last month or so. We've been BUSY!

Somehow we managed to cram in a 5-day trip to Alaska a week before we moved to a new house. Here are pics from our Alaska trip. It was wonderful. We got Ezra on cross country skis for the first time! He only lasted a few minutes, but still, it felt like a milestone on our journey to instill in our kids a love of the outdoors. Ollie spent the whole skiing excursion ensconced in a "chariot," munching on fruit snacks. He was, needless to say, content.

Moving was terrible. Thankfully, Katy and Noni paid us a weekend visit and took the kids off our hands so we could actually get something done. The movers failed to show on the day they were supposed to. Message to the world: Don't use Starving Student Movers.

But we made it and are slowly unpacking. There a





re two amazingly awesome things about this place - it's a lot bigger than our old place and we have our own yard! We are loving having some outdoor space of our own. The tulips were blooming when we moved in, and now the lilac, poppies and rhododendron are. I love looking out the glass doors of the kitchen and seeing the lush garden out back. This is what we dreamed of when we were city rats living in Chicago, surrounded by concrete and brick. Gabe just planted our little vegetable garden today. We are excited to grow some of our own food!

It's not perfect, and we dream of owning our own home one day instead of renting. But for now it will serve us well.

Love,
Ashley

April showers bring... Grandma!

After a week of insanely gorgeous, very un-Seattle-like weather, the rain returned just in time for Grandma Cheri's visit! Oh well, it hasn't gotten in our way and Cheri seems beyond content just sitting on the floor building Lego and Superstruct creations with her two grandsons. Unfortunately, Ezra quickly realized that Grandma was doling out presents on a daily basis and has taken to hounding her each morning and then acting grumpy when the presents aren't $500 Star Wars Lego sets. Apparently we have to redouble our efforts at teaching manners.

We braved a visit to the zoo this morning with our friends Sara and almost-two-year-old Shoshana. This being Seattle, the zoo cleverly has great indoor attractions like the "Zoomazium" - a big indoor climbing area. Oliver in particular ran around like a caged cheetah finally let loose on the savanna.

This is going to be a big month for us. Next week, we head to Alaska for five days because Gabe and I were both invited to give presentations at a journalism conference (my stomach is in knots thinking about it), but we can't wait to see all our Anchorage friends and get a little bit of sledding and snow fun in.

Then we're moving to a new house by the end of the month! It's another rental, but this time a house instead of an apartment, with its own yard. The yard is going to be a big lifestyle improvement. We love living where we do - very close to Alki beach - but the lack of a yard has been hard. We'll still be keepin' it real here in West Seattle, just a little closer to downtown and tucked up on a kind of forgotten hill that has a nice, quiet, family vibe to it. It's called Pigeon Point. Hard to believe we have to box everything up YET AGAIN, but we think it's going to be worth it.

Love,
Ash, Gabe, Ezra & Oliver

Post-op, A-Okay!

Just a quick note to say Ezra made it through his ear tube surgery totally problem-free. Gabe and I breathed a big sigh of relief. It's a simple procedure, but the risks of general anesthesia, plus all the waiver forms that spelled out all the potential risks left us a bit freaked out.

But it only took 15 minutes between when they took him back to put him under anesthesia and when the doc came out to tell us it was all over and he was fine. Ezra was pretty loopy after he woke up - floppy and almost punch-drunk. But he already says he can hear better. And he says the whole thing was fun! Why wouldn't he say that - he got to watch much of 101 Dalmatians before and after the surgery, and he got to drink apple juice and have cookies afterward, plus we gave him a new little Lego guy. Now he wants to know if he'll get a toy every time he goes to the doctor. Um, sorry.

Love, Ash, Gabe, Ezra & Oliver

Land of Enchantment

The stress of traveling long distances in confined spaces with two wiggly kids who need a new activity every 10 minutes and are prone to shrieking when they're unhappy is almost enough to prevent us from going anywhere. But not quite. And we're all happy we mustered up the will and the dough to make a trip to Santa Fe last week.

The sky was blue nonstop. The food was delicious. And we all were happy to relax by the fireplace at Noni and Mickey's house. The one exception is that Oliver was terrorized by Winnie the Pooch (aka Winnie the Poop). It didn't help that she lurked around his chair at every mealtime, having quickly learned who was most likely to drop food. Slowly he got used to her and learned to say, "Back off!"

We went on lots of fun excursions - to the Anasazi pueblo ruins and cave dwellings at Bandelier, to the other-worldly rock formations known as Tent Rocks, to the Children's Museum and to the mountains to go sledding. Sledding in particular was a blast - even Noni and Mickey took a couple of runs. Ezra and Katy's boyfriend David bonded catching some "sick air."

The kids had us in stitches telling knock knock jokes, mostly of the scatalogical variety. Most are some variation of this one:

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Smell mop."
"Smell mop who?"
"Ew, I don't want to smell your poo!"

Oliver's punchlines to that joke never disappoint. Here's one that he told us:

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Smell mop."
"Smell mop who?"
"Ew, I don't want to taste your toilet!" (pronounced 'toy-wet')

Love to all from Ash, Gabe, Ezra & Oliver

freshly shorn

Just a quick post to show off the kids' new Supercuts hairdos. Not perfect, but what do you expect for $13 each?

Usually we take them to kiddie hair salons that cost twice that much and have little cars and trains the kids can sit in while they get their hair cut, plus videos to watch and toys to play with. But the place we go to was closed today and we were really overdue for a trim. 

The most Supercuts had for kids was a couple of balloons, but Ezra and Oliver surprised me with how well they complied with the ordeal. Oliver especially impressed me with his stoicism. I could tell he was freaked out, but he didn't cry and sat still the whole time. He's growing up! 

Also including a pic of Ezra at the birthday party for his friends Orin and Maggie - it was at a kids' art studio and including a "splatter room"! He came home covered in paint, including his shoes. 

Greetings, 2013!

Things we're looking forward to and hoping will happen this year: Ezra hearing better once he gets tubes in his ears (Feb. 13), Oliver not biting anyone anymore, Ezra developing even more interest in and tolerance of his brother, and Oliver learning to use the potty (Please? It's got to happen, right?). Oh, and both kids going to sleep with minimal stalling and crying - and Oliver sleeping till 6 am or dare we dream, even later...

Okay, enough griping about little things. All the emotional upheaval after Newtown has left me feeling a lot more tolerant and patient with these boys. It's such a precious thing to be able to squeeze them, feel the warmth of their skin, their squirming bodies constantly in motion except for rare moments when they relax and squeeze back, or better yet, actually initiate kisses. One of Oliver's latest bedtime stalling tactics is to kiss both my cheeks and eyes. That - as you can imagine - is a pretty effective stalling tactic.

I've deactivated my Facebook account because it was sucking up way too much time and occupying too much of my brain power with mostly inconsequential things. So I'm hoping to blog more often and post pictures here for our family and friends who still check this blog occasionally.

We had a very fun Hanukkah and the kids were inundated with gifts and chocolate. It's going to take a while for them to realize we've gone back to day-to-day life when presents and a constant stream of sugar are out of the ordinary. Gabe and I went to Ezra's class at day care and talked to them about Hanukkah and taught them the dreidel song, and then plied them with Hanukkah gelt. In gratitude, they all drew us pictures of menorahs and dreidels. Very cute! And Ezra started getting into the spirit of gift-giving by drawing us countless pictures of robots and then wrapping them up with toilet paper and scotch tape.

Aunt Lisa came to town (her first time in Seattle!) on Christmas Eve and stayed for five days. It was great. We drove an hour into the Cascades and went sledding and had so much fun. We sledded down tiny hills, but they were fast enough for all of us to have a lot of laughs. The snow was incredibly deep and powdery - but clumpy enough to make a terrific snowman. We tried to recreate the fun on New Year's Day, but it was 25 degrees and the snow was icier and we (especially Oliver) called it quits a lot sooner. But it definitely did our spirits good to get up into the mountains and remind ourselves of one of the main reasons why we moved here.

The rain let up and the sun came out and Lisa, Ezra, Oliver & I went to Bainbridge Island. Lisa was particularly impressed that the sun shone. :-) It is rare, but not unheard of! Lisa also graciously babysat for us while we went to see "This is Forty." Thanks, Lisa! After she left, Oliver said, "Where's Lisa? I want her to come back."

We're going to Santa Fe in a week and a half - can't wait for some more sunshine and some good Mexican food and to take the boys on more hikes in the mountains - maybe even sledding again! Oh, and can't wait to see Noni, Mickey & Katy!

Love,
Ash (and Gabe, Ezra & Oliver)

When bliss happens, take note

 

Life hasn't been easy lately. Our kids scream, bite, hit and generally act in loathsome ways way more than we'd like. We go from the grind of work to the grind of child care to housework to sleep and back again. So I really feel compelled to write when we have an amazing day like today, so we can remember it on less-than-amazing days.

First amazing thing is that Katy is here visiting. Hooray! We had a leisurely breakfast and then headed out to a stunningly, quintessentially Seattle place... Gasworks Park. It's an old decommissioned gas plant that's been turned into a city park, and the old gasworks equipment has been painted bright colors and left for kids to climb on. It's right by Lake Union, where all the houseboats are (where Tom Hanks supposedly lived in Sleepless in Seattle), so we could watch houseboats and sailboats and kayaks on the water,with the Space Needle and downtown skyline in the background. The sky was Santa Fe blue. Incredible! Then we treated ourselves to lunch at a burger place and went to check out the giant troll sculpture under a bridge in the Fremont neighborhood. The kids loved it so much they cried when we left.

After nap time and dinner time, we headed to Alki beach with watermelon, even though it's almost pitch dark out at 7 pm now. But it was such a lovely night... The kids had fun looking at stars and chasing each other, and we watched the ferries gliding across the sound, all lit up, with the silhouette of the Olympics in the distance. And here's the craziest thing. On the way back, as we walked up our alley, Katy spotted a flying farolito! It's basically a paper lantern with a candle inside that somehow lifts up into the air and floats until it burns itself up. Then we saw another and another! Someone must have been setting them off from the beach, but we were all enthralled, especially the kids. Ezra had just recently been talking about the flying farolito he saw in Santa Fe on Christmas Eve of 2010, when he was only 2 years, 5 months old.

It was a really magical end to a great day.

Sleepless in Seattle

In the pouring rain on April 30, Team Spitzer-Gross packed up the Subaru Outback to the gills (we literally left a baby carrier in the garage because we didn't have any more space) and said goodbye to Chicago to begin our excellent adventure west.

Trip highlights included visiting the Briscoes ("Do you like Transformers, Arthur and David?" "Do you have more Transformers, Arthur? Or wait, are you David?"), visiting our friends Melissa, Lars, Mai-Evy and baby Sella in Minneapolis in their beautiful new house, climbing all over ancient rock formations at the Badlands of South Dakota, spending a couple of days chillin' in Bozeman with Uncle Josh, Sarah and Wyatt, drinking in the mountain views and fresh air and feeling lighthearted about moving west, and playing in a park and eating Thai food in Coeur d'Alene (that also seems like a fabulous town! Who knew?).

The lowlights weren't too terrible, after all. We gave goodie bags every 100 miles or so and stuffed their faces with graham crackers, pretzels, and granola bars, lubricated with juice boxes, and that seemed to do the trick.

Monday, May 7th, we pulled down our new street in West Seattle just as the sun was starting to set behind the Olympic Mountains across Puget Sound. Yes, the apartment is small, but we felt so thrilled to be here. Our apartment is 100 feet or so from the beach!

Now we've been here a month and are starting to believe that we actually live here. It hasn't been the easiest transition. Oliver's sleep has been rocky ever since the trip, with multiple wakings per night. I was nursing him in the belief that it would help make all the transitions easier, until I just got completely fed up with his entitled attitude (he'd shout at 4:00 am "I WANT MY MUH-MUH!", muh-muh being his name for breastmilk), like I was his little dairymaid. But the lame thing is that he's STILL waking up at 4:00 am, shouting and shouting, now for a graham cracker. He doesn't fall back asleep - no, that's when he begins his day, and consequently when I begin my day.

And to complicate matters, Ezra and Oliver are sharing a room. So we've had some nights that truly felt like a three-ring circus with kids shouting at 3:00 am, mom and dad rushing here and there, trying to shut them up, and our neighbors probably punching their pillows in fury.

We're still not unpacked, more than a month after arriving. It's tough when bedtime for the kids can go till 9:00 pm and then we have to clean up the dishes, and sometimes cook dinner for the following night. Hard to force ourselves to unpack the rest of these boxes. But on the weekends we've been trying to chip away at it.

We miss a lot of people in Chicago and miss that feeling of being surrounded by friends. But we've hung out with some friends here and we're just so happy to be in a place with old-growth forests, mountain views and amazingly hilly streets that we haven't doubted our decision (or at least, I haven't. I don't think Gabe has.) Ezra told Gabe last night that he's grateful for our new life here. I'm grateful that we moved with the kids before it got too hard to uproot them and before we just got too dang tired to make the move.

Not that it's all sunshine and roses. We've had record rain so far in June (and we've added a new phrase to our lexicon: "June gloom."). There's been a lot of very disturbing and saddening violence here. But same in Chicago.

Anyway, friends - even though our place is small, we welcome visitors!

Love, Ashley, Gabe, Ezra & Oliver